I've been feeling tremendously over-committed lately. It's become increasingly difficult to find time for the things I want/need/have to do. Time management has been a challenge ever since I started writing, but more so lately, I'm not sure why. It also doesn't help that I've been fighting off some mystery illness (cold? flu?) for at least a week now and have been absolutely exhausted morning and night. Daytime? Fine. Hooray for the Day Job, not so much for my writing and other activities. :)

I began thinking of a giant list of things I would wish for if, say, a djinn suddenly appeared wanting to grant my every desire. The list ranges from world peace to actually putting my clothes away when I undress at night, as opposed to piling them on the floor in front of my closet. What I found the most astonishing was how many of the things were completely within my power. No djinn required.

I'm not quite sure what this means yet, but it was definitely powerful to make the connection that so many of the things I casually complain about not being able to do are actually perfectly accessible.

This bears more long term thinking. I suspect I'll need to make some serious changes in my attitude, discipline (o noes!), and habits to fulfill many of the things on my wish list. But, wow. How comforting to know that's really all it will take.

In the short term, I'll probably try to do something like what kaz_mahoney did to organize her time. I've done things like this before and they've always helped me for short periods of time...until I fall off the discipline bandwagon again. :)

Either way, something's gotta give (as you've heard me say here before). Too bad it can't be the Day Job. ;) Then again, I'm not sure that's the magic solution I need anyway. The changes need to happen in me.

The Louisiana vacation continues...

As I mentioned yesterday, there were bears at the zoo. See this bear?
( Cut for inappropriate bear activities. You know you want to click. )</div>

Hello beloved interwebs! I have returned! Literally. Ben and I flew back from Louisiana yesterday, where we spent last week vacationing with friends. Vacation is, of course, synonymous with picspam and I've got some good shots from the trip.

Have I ever told you about my thing for origami cranes? I love origami in general but especially cranes. When I was planning my wedding, I learned about a Japanese tradition of family and friends folding 1,001 origami cranes for the bride and groom, which is supposed to bring luck 1,001 times over on the couple. Naturally, with a mere 6 months to plan the wedding, I had to have cranes. *eye roll* We ended up with 1,013. We're over-achievers, what can I say? Anyway, while we were on vacation, we pressed the button to call an elevator. When the doors opened, the elevator was empty and this was sitting on the floor of the elevator:
I have a few more pics for tomorrow, including one very...contented...bear. In the meantime, please let me know if I've missed any critical LJ updates!

Hello?

*crickets chirping*

I'm almost back. I just need about another week of hermit-hood and then I'll be back to my regular blogging schedule. I've missed everyone, but definitely needed the break to move forward with THE LANGUAGE OF SILENCE.

In the meantime, Captain Hammer and Barbie wanted to say hi...

I'm interrupting my own radio silence to bring you some thoughts from Newsweek's interview with Where the Wild Things Are author Maurice Sendak, director Spike Jonze and screenwriter Dave Eggers. The interview is filled with brilliant thoughts on writing for children and I really can't encourage you enough to click through to read it in its entirety, especially if you write for children, yourself.

The following excerpts especially resonated with me and the story I'm on LJ-hiatus to craft:

Jonze: The big disagreement is that [the studio] thought I was making a children's film and I thought I was making a film about childhood ... I want children to see it, and it's not like I made it not for children, and it'll be on the video shelf under CHILDREN'S, but I didn't come at it that way. I came at it from the inside out as opposed to the outside in.

Sendak: Europeans have done films about children, like The 400 Blows or My Life as a Dog, which is one of the most wonderful movies ever. It's tough to watch his suffering when his mother is dying and he scoots under the bed. That's the kind of way they have of dealing with children and they always have. We are squeamish. We are Disneyfied. We don't want children to suffer. But what do we do about the fact that they do? The trick is to turn that into art.
Newsweek: What do you say to parents who think the Wild Things film may be too scary?
Sendak: I would tell them to go to hell. That's a question I will not tolerate...This concentration on kids being scared, as though we as adults can't be scared. Of course we're scared. I'm scared of watching a TV show about vampires. I can't fall asleep. It never stops. We're grown-ups; we know better, but we're afraid.
Newsweek: Why is that important in art?
Sendak: Because it's truth.

I just think that is so critically important. In all stories, but especially in children's stories ("children's," in this case, referring to anyone younger than adulthood). Capturing the truth of the story--making it real in that way, so the reader believes the story is taking place somewhere not too far away or so they feel they can relate to the story or learn from it somehow, even if it's about unicorns and dragons and blue people with seven legs--that is the most important thing we can possibly do as writers: evoke that connection between the reader and the story where the reader thinks and feels: I *know* this.

The only sort of story worthy of that intimate, precious relationship with its readers is a story willing to stock itself with truth--a story willing to put itself on the line and say: I am like you. I feel what you feel, I hurt when you hurt, I fear what you fear but I also love when you love and rejoice when you rejoice. Stories that curb and shelter, stories that try to protect the Delicate Emotions of others don't speak those words.

Don't be afraid to write the truth of your story--be bold with the emotions you weave into your words. It matters.

I am feeling very, very overwhelmed. I know I wrote the last book while still managing to post regularly, but perhaps I didn't have so much else going on...? In any case, I hereby surrender. I've managed to over-commit myself in my personal life, which is conveniently coinciding with a bit of over-commitment at work and me trying to settle into a new book. Something's got to give.

In this case, it's going to be LJ for a while. I will probably still post and peek at my f-list sporadically but right now I need to reserve the teensy bit of time I have for my writing.

Be good to yourselves. I'll see you on the other side.

A discussion came up on an author's forum a short while ago that I find very interesting: is it "okay" to have your Shapeshifter characters have sex in animal form?

My particular take on this is: absolutely.

The most prevalent argument I've seen against furry Shifter nookie amounts to, "OMG ew, that's bestiality and I am not a disgusting pervert!" However, the thing that (imo) is wrong about bestiality is that the human is violating the animal. There is no opportunity for the animal to consent, the animal does not understand what's happening, etc.

Shifters are not animals. Shifters are humans with a different skin (for the purposes of my argument here). They have a human consciousness and human desires. Unless the sexual encounter is a rape scene, they are not being violated. Therefore, if the encounter works with the storyline and the characters, I think it doesn't matter whether the Shifter is in human form, animal form or somewhere in between. In fact, I think it can be a beautiful way for one partner to show their acceptance of the other partner's "otherness."

Obviously, shagging someone with fur or scales isn't going to appeal to everyone. :) But neither does shagging someone with a moustache or someone with an arrogant personality or, hell, a particular gender depending on the reader.

But that's just me. What do you think?

I'm back to the new book, THE LANGUAGE OF SILENCE. Woo-hoo! I lovelovelove this story--we're talking epic booklove, baby. No doubt that will change at some point, but for now I just love being in Megan's world and writing her words.

I was thinking today how different the two books are for me:

BLOOD AND SACRIFICE: When I wasn't drinking water, it was usually wine.
THE LANGUAGE OF SILENCE: Tea. Celestial Seasonings Bengal Spice has been my pick lately.

B&S: The playlist was Staind, Evanescence, 3 Doors Down, Matt Nathanson, The Fray, etc.
TLoS: Scores (Lord of the Rings, The Last Samurai, Last of the Mohicans, The Piano, Carrington, Band of Brothers), Enya and some classical.

B&S: Adult, romantic urban fantasy, guns, sex, supernatural creatures, etc.
TLoS: YA, post-apocalyptic, minimal physical violence*, no sex*, no non-humans

B&S: Carefully plotted out to within an inch of its life.
TLoS: Leapfrog plotting, where I have a general sense of the overall story (not a lot of details) and am plotting out a few scenes ahead of where I am, mostly in my head. (Can we say "out of comfort zone"?)

When I first started writing, I would have told you that a book like B&S was the only kind of book inside me. I think it's pretty interesting how that's changed over the last few years.

In other news, here are some word meters because I <3 them:

Overall:

 

6755 / 60000 words. 11% done!

JoNo Progress:

 

533 / 23000 words. 2% done!





*These choices are what the story dictates and have NOTHING to do with the fact that it's YA. Grrr. Don't get me started.

The song "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles had been playing incessantly in my mind since yesterday so I put it on repeat as I settled in to get some queries out...two and a half hours ago. When I announced to Ben that I'd listened to the same song 60 times, he asked if it was on purpose.

I've turned it off now, but the truth is I'm only sort of tired of it. Do you ever get that way with music, where a particular song just grabs you and you can't get enough of it? The real test, of course, will be if I still want to listen to it six months or a year from now. Sometimes these things burn out fast, but sometimes it's a lifelong love affair.

This is the third time I've tried to write this entry, so I'll cut to the chase:

Apparently I've used all my brain juice on the mini-rewrite of BLOOD AND SACRIFICE, which I wrapped up today. I realized (too late, of course) that I made the whole thing ten times more difficult than it had to be by stubbornly refusing to acknowledge that there is more than one way to tell a story, despite the fact that I believe that is one of the fundamental truths of storytelling.

Note to self: Remember there is more than one way to tell a story.

Oy.

I've been hearing excellent things about this book and can't wait to read it:

1. Why do people think that their cars are private rooms? Dude. We were all watching you trim your ear hair at the bus stop this morning. Ew.

2. I'll be getting a new neighbor at work on Monday. It'll be great to have some company and the guy is fun and funny. On the other hand, I'm sure I'll miss the solitude.

3. I just learned that the standard chocolate chip cookie recipe doesn't have milk in it (I thought it did). This is VERY EXCITING because I <3 choc chip cookies and anti-<3 milk. I realize they still have butter, but I can probably get away with sneaking one or two...maybe. {sigh}

4. Yesterday was Arthur Guinness day. This year is the 250th anniversary of Guinness! I drank one yesterday to celebrate and plan on continuing the celebration into the weekend. You should, too. Guinness=yummy.

5. I think I've finally found my beginning, thanks to the help of wedschilde . Phew! The manuscript shall live another day. This weekend I'll be rewriting Chapter 1 to get it back out to agents and then working on the next few chapters into next week. Thanks again to everyone who offered a suggestion! In the end, all it took was a fresh pair of eyes.

So... I need to rewrite my opening and I can't find the first line. And it's driving me crazy. I've stared and stared and stared at the page. I've sat and thought and thought and thought without staring at the page. I've literally thought about the new opening for hours. So then I thought maybe I was becoming obsessed (ya think?) and I just needed to stick something in there and move on.

Couldn't.

Brain wouldn't function on the rest of the rewrite without knowing how the story opened. It kept veering back to that opening scene, trying to pick apart the words and figure out what the first line should be.

GAH!

Help? Anyone? Tips, tricks, anything? Well, anything other than, "My opening lines just come to me and they're always perfect the first time out." That? Not helpful right now. ;)

Just cross-posting my JoNo goals for my own accountability and so that I've Said Them Out Loud twice now (which makes it harder to re-neg on them).

My JoNo goals are to:

Work on the B&S rewrite for 2 hours a day on selected days for the next two weeks, with the goal of completing the rewrite by the end of next week.

Then, work on TLOS with a goal of at least 500 words a day on non-vacation days and 100 words a day on vacation days for the remainder of JoNo, with a total goal of 23K of new TLOS words by the end of JoNo.

Before we get to Ben's new crush, a quick word about my weekend. We went to a wedding on Saturday. The coolness factor of the event (and, really, the couple themselves) can pretty much be summed up by these two pictures:
( image heavy )

Have you watched the show? If so, who's your crush?


*Well, as snuggled up as two people can be with a 30 pound terrier between them.

Yesterday was sora_blue 's birthday so please join me in sending along hopes that she had a great day and wishes for a wonderful year.

Chan - I thought I might give you a fox cake but then I saw this:


Sorry I missed it yesterday. Hope you had a great one! Give Ethanael a kiss for me! (hahaha)

Just dropping by with some very exciting news! Karen Mahoney has sold her YA novel to Flux! Click the link for her announcement.

Many of you have probably seen this already, but I couldn't get on here until now to cross-post. I'm so thrilled for her. It's a fantastic story and I just know this is the start of a long and very successful career for Karen. This is long-deserved success. :) Please stop by and wish her congrats!

I am so sad that Patrick Swayze died. Kaz has done a lovelier tribute than I could manage so I'm going to point you there.

In other news...

...I am doing a small rewrite of BLOOD AND SACRIFICE, mostly of the opening chapters. There's tightening to be done and some pacing to fix. I've clearly not found the beginning of this story yet. {big, heavy sigh} I'm close, I think. I need opening lines, perhaps new opening paragraphs (as in, plural). Then I can work with what I have. This blank space ---> <--- is where I would love to be swearing and complaining about rewriting. But I shall not.

...I have also joined jonowrimo again this year. I haven't completely laid out my goals yet, but they'll be a combination of the rewrite and new words on THE LANGUAGE OF SILENCE. If you're looking for a motivator or are intrigued by the idea of NaNoWriMo but are intimidated by the pace, check JoNo out! I loved doing it last year and it was the perfect pace/time for me with the day job, etc. (I can't write fast enough to make the real NaNo goals while I'm working full time.)

...I've been in a funk lately, mostly due to some real life stuff going on and partially due to the impending rewrite on a book I thought was "done." This is not a cry for pity or LJ hugs or sympathy, etc. etc. :) But I like to let my public (*snort*) know why I've been posting so sporadically lately. Maudlin doesn't make for good blogging, therefore I keep it to myself. ;)

...I went on a music-buying binge tonight. I bought the latest from Howie Day and Butterfly Boucher, both of whom I'm a big fan of, and also Shinedown (I think Second Chance is such a sad song!) and Parachute (sort of on a whim after I heard a single and fell in love with the singer's voice). Oh, and this, which I found thanks to Pandora: That's Sara Bareilles singing Gravity. Now...I've got a date with a manuscript and a machete...

Kim, babe, you know how much I love you. We share the bond of Funny Bones and Papaya Punch. But guess what? THERE ARE NO FUNNY BONES CAKES! And no Papaya Punch cakes! As if that weren't bad enough, I couldn't even find a pic of the old school original style Papaya Punch bottles to give to you to accompany this "funny bone" cake I found:
I mean, srsly?? WTF? *huffs*  You'll just have to imagine this post splashed with all sorts of spectacular pics of Papaya Punch and Funny Bone cakes.

Hope you had a great day!! :) 

Ben got an extra special present for his birthday: a diagnosis of high blood pressure. So we're now cooking together everyday, preparing recipes from a special diet prescribed by his doctor.

Here are a few samples of what this process is like:

Ben: Okay! *claps hands* One t-s-p of black pepper.
Ben: *searches in cabinet for one full minute* Where's the black pepper? It's not in here.
Me: *glances at cabinet, points right in front of Ben*
***
Ben: Okay! Three cups of water.
Ben: *staring at water in pot* Do you think this pot is too big?
Me: Ben. You asked me how you could help, I asked you to make the rice. Handle it.
Ben: Don't judge me.
Me: Too late.
***
Ben: Okay! Four ounces of low sodium tomato sauce and four ounces of regular tomato sauce. I've got...two eight ounce cans here.
Ben:  O.o
Ben: Okay! What am I going to use to measure out four ounces? *starts rooting through drawers*
Me: Ben. Half a can of each.
Ben: What? No.
Me: O.o
Ben: N-no. It must be exact!
Me: Ben! Halfacan! It's cooking! Not neuroscience!
Ben: *keens*
***
Ben: Okay! One and a half t-s-p of garlic. Let me just get a measuri--
Me: *dumps a spoonful of garlic into the sauce*
Ben: *shrieks*
Me: Oh, my god. It's garlic. You don't need to measure garlic.
***
Ben: Okay! Let simmer for twenty minutes. JESUS! Twenty minutes?!? Are you KIDDING? Do you always cook the rice that long? Oh my GOD, it's not going to be done for EVAR!
Me: *dies*
***

Either the diet will reduce his blood pressure or the stress of the cooking will kill him. Jury's still out.

Sorry to be such an absentee blogger lately but I've got some real life stuff going on that's had to take priority. I'll be away this weekend for a memorial service. Next week, I'm hoping to quietly sneak back into a regular routine. I've got a minor rewrite of BLOOD AND SACRIFICE to do and the unplotted abyss to venture into on Megan's story which I've decided to call THE LANGUAGE OF SILENCE as a working title.

Everyone, be good to each other out there. It matters, even when you think it doesn't and especially when you think you'll have more time to do better later.